You're Grounded! Now What?
by: Michael Kabel

Sooner or later, most teens get grounded. Whether for poor grades, staying out too late or any of dozens of other broken rules, young men and ladies everywhere have to sit out some of their social lives to appease their angry parents.

The trick to dealing with getting grounded is not to focus on what you did but what you're going to do to get out of it. There's an old saying that "the past is prologue," which means everything that's ever happened only brought us to this point in time. So don't dwell on the past as you sit around grounded - get motivated to get out of it.

Makes yourself willing to pay for damages.

In cases where you're grounded for breaking something or causing damage to property, take the first step of offering to pay to repair or replace the damaged goods. It's true that paying some things off might take a while, but in the meantime you'll have shown your parents you're willing to get right by them. They'll recognize your maturity and understand that you're not afraid to take the consequences of your actions.

If the damaged item(s) is something that belongs to the family, offer to work the cost out in trade. See if you can't perform duties or chores around the house, and assign each job a monetary payment. When you've worked off enough "money" to replace the damaged item, you should be free of the grounding.

Show them you're getting better.

Bad grades are probably the most common cause for grounding. The good news is that bad grades are some the easiest things to fix! Studying, working with friends and finding solutions to problems online can all help you pull your grades up quickly.

Make sure your parents see you studying more, taking the time to go over your books and disciplining yourself to putting in a regular amount of study time each day. When they see you making the effort to improve, they'll be more open to negotiating the terms of your grounding.

Be sure to keep them informed of your improvement, too. Bringing home high-scoring tests, book reports and projects will also give you leverage when it's time to talk about lifting the punishment.

Negotiate with time off for good behavior.

As luck usually has it, there's probably going to be something during you're grounding that you just have to attend. If everything has gone well so far, offer to extend your grounding by the same amount of time you want off. For example, you'll add a night to the end of your "sentence" if you're allowed to attend your best friend's birthday party. Tell your parents the event is important enough to you that you're willing to stay grounded longer - it means that much to you.

Obviously, this tactic has to be used for a special occasion if it's going to fly with your folks. Negotiating for a trip to the mall is much less likely to succeed than a truly special event. Be honest with them, talk openly, and let them know you appreciate their flexibility and understanding.