Choosing a Dama of Honor for Your Quinceañera Court
By: Michael Kabel

The Quinceañera includes lots of details – too many, in fact, for some Quinceañera girls to handle all by themselves. Even with the help of her parents and her padrinos, the planning, staging, budgeting still require loads of time.

Quince girls have their damas to help, and it's becoming very common for them to designate one the Dama del Honor for extra support. But that does create one temporary new problem: choosing a Lady of Honor presents a tough choice for Quince girls afraid of offending anyone in their celebration.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the planning, and just need some emergency help, or if you need a kind of "personal assistant," you might need to designate a Dama del Honor to help get you through the rough patch. There's no shame in asking for help – and the role itself is quite a compliment.

The Dama del Honor helps when help is needed.

Before designating which Dama will take over the role of lead, you should figure out for yourself the exact nature of her role. For example, you may want the Dama of Honor to coordinate all the details relating to just the Court of Honor. Or, you may want her to handle a larger role, such as handling the desserts or music.

The important thing is to discuss your Dama of Honor's role with her and make sure she knows you're depending on her for a specific part of the celebration. This will prevent misunderstandings (which are just the raw materials for arguments) later on down the line. The Quinceañera is no time to fight with friends.

Choosing your Dama del Honor can be a touchy proposition.

Making your decision as to who will fill out the Damas del Honor role can be tricky. You don't want to offend anyone, of course, and you don’t want anyone to feel slighted. Making the right choice is also a decision about whom you trust most with some important details.

Your Dama del Honor should be the woman you trust most out of all your damas, the one you know can deliver on the responsibilities you ask of her. This isn’t a slight to the other damas - it's you acting in your own best interest. Ideally, your Dama del Honor will be an adult or teen with more access and resources to the things you're getting for your Quinceañera celebration. While that maturity shouldn't determine your choice, it is something to consider nonetheless.

Let the other damas know about your choice as soon as it happens.

This is to keep everything "in the clear" with your honor court. If your Dama del Honor is just mean to act as chief of the Court itself, tell your damas as much and make sure the Dama del Honor has the other damas' and chambelanes' contact information.

As the Quinceañera nears, don't hesitate to ask for her help.

It's true that reaching maturity means you can do more things for yourself. However, most adults realize there's no shame in asking for assistance when you need it. And besides, that's what friends are for!

After the celebrations conclude or during the fiesta, make sure the Dama del Honor's gift is appropriate to her role, and be sure to give it to her personally.